girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket
having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
none of you can do it discreetly anyways
This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:
“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”
my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this
I have read this book and I assure you it is literary gold.
(Source: m3lodigression, via kyleherman)
I have a panic disorder. While having an attack one day, I called my boyfirend because I was scared. He hung up the phone as soon as I said that and was over in no time to comfort me.
He doesn’t have a car.
He lives 10 miles away.
DING DONG THOSE ARE FUCKING WEDDING BELLS IN THE DISTANCE
ILL PLAN THE WEDDING
(Source: buckkybarnnes, via misspinkliquorlips)
*looks through your selfies*
(Source: marypoppinthatpussy, via nakedthursdayz)
i like how i’m not even remotely phased by anyone’s url anymore like oh look at this adorable kitten that satansbloodsacrifice reblogged from 1d-lives-inside-my-actual-vagina
i would never cheat on someone i mean someone being stupid enough to date me is a once in a lifetime thing im not gonna mess it up
(Source: jamesmcvoymoved, via kyleherman)